Well… this is depressing. Which, I guess, beats the alternative. Certainly don’t want my send off to be a ding-dong-the-witch-is- dead flash mob. Perhaps there’s a middle ground. A little light sobbing, some clothes rending, a few heads banged against walls in grief. Nothing over the top. To all politicians who might be around today (I don’t know why you would show up but I wouldn’t be surprised either if you did), lets try and keep this day about me… okay? Thank you.
Now that we’ve settled on the appropriate level of somber, I’d like to go over a few things before LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT ME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! First, I want it known that I am deeply grateful for how things turned out.
I wouldn’t have it any other way if I had the chance ( maybe I would try and die much later but that’s besides the point.) In retrospect, yes now everything is in retrospect, even the really bad stuff seems to have had a purpose.
When I was a kid, they introduced me to computers. And this device did nothing but fascinate me. I was curious , and out of this curiosity, I did destroy many a computer. Ruined them so badly that no technician knew where to start in order to fix them. But it was for a good cause. A few years later the same curiosity would be the reason I didn’t sleep hungry throughout my campus life.
I lived my school life. Made a lot of choices, good and bad (well I’ll admit the bad ones almost overshadowed the few good ones). But all in all, I became the man who now lies before you, dead as can be, having lived a full life.
To my kids…
As I write this you are not yet born. So I have no idea what your names are. Or even sure whether this part might have to be scrapped off due to the fact that you will not be there. But the fact that it is here means my gut ( or testicles, whatever gives such hints) knows you’ll one day come into existence. And you will be the center of my universe. I will strive to give you the things I never had. I am already trying, it’s not easy I can tell you that for sure, but I am trying. And I will smack your asses to the top of Everest if you ever take that for granted.
To my wife…
Also haven’t met you yet suffice to say, I have no idea what you look like. I mean I have a rough idea, but just in case things turn out differently I will keep that to myself for now. Lest you interrupt this day meant to be about me, to go look for that b(insert the rest of the letters that make up the word referring to a female dog) who had once stolen your darling husbands heart. And we don’t want that, now do we?. Anyhuu I loved you (still do as I lie in this ligneous box waiting for the vicar to chant to you some stuff about dust to dust so you can all finally get this over with) but obviously I had to go. If I had it any other way I would, but I didn’t so here we are.
TO BE CONTINUED….
